As the store clerk and I strained to hoist the 150-pound box full of summer trampoline delight into my car, I noted the comforting words on the box highlighted in a bright yellow star box, "Easy Assembly". My youngest daughter had been lobbying me for months to grant her a backyard trampoline. Now the occasion of her birthday intensified the cry for the big bouncing machine sweeping the nation. I had my concerns. It just seemed a bit disconcerting to me when I envisioned my ten-year-old rocketing twenty feet in the air. I admit, I am a very conservative parent when it comes to safety. Any activity that I see as a potential trip to the emergency room I generally oppose, especially if it involves my two daughters. Thus my reluctance to permit the trampoline craze to enter my world. But, alas, I am a man. When those girls look up at me with those beautiful cow-like puppy-dog eyes I can barely keep myself from turning to mush. And they know it. About five minutes short of a hernia I got the monstrous "easy to assemble" box outa my trunk, crushing two toes in the process. After a brief hiatus, to regain my manly composure, I plunged into extricating the trampoline from the box. That in itself was an ordeal. Four bolts just holding it in the box. So, OK, fifteen minutes later, I got it out. And then, three hours later, with the help of four people and at the expense of each and every one of my lower back muscles, I had it assembled. Then came the safety net....... Oh my......... The trampoline was not that bad.... but the net... All I have to declare is, if you plan on buying a trampoline with a safety net, set aside a few hundred bucks to hire a nuclear engineer to set it up. No kidding. It's an unforgettable life experience. My son and I were fairly proud of ourselves for surviving the trampoline spring stretching experience but we were quickly humbled by the unfathomable intricacies of trampoline safety net installation. After three hours of trying to figure out all the ropes, bungee cords, tie-backs, Velcro strips and pole latches we settled for some resemblance of a net around the trampoline. We were a bit encouraged when n my ten-year-old daughter noted to us that is was the best safety net she had ever seen. Her exact words, "Dad, you should see what my friend's nets look like! A bird would fall out of them!" And with that, we retired for the night. Next day I awoke to the sounds of a small army of kids flying fifteen feet into the air on our new yard ornament. I quickly thanked God for liability insurance and drove off to work. I sure do wish I could figure a way to find theses guys who print those "easy assembly" words on our trampolines, bicycles and dollhouses. I figure they owe us all at least two lifetimes of hard labor. Have a great (and safe) summer.